Blacksocks: Sock of the Month Club Club of the Month

Blacksocks is a sock delivery service, virtually eliminating two of life's most arduous tasks: buying black socks and then matching black sock to black sock. I can't help but think Clark Griswald would have been tickled pink to have received a subscription to a sock of the month club instead of jelly.

http://www.blacksocks.com/us

Sockarooni: Peppers, Spices, Socks & the Whole Shebang!

Finally, a sauce flavored with socks. Thank you, Paul Newman!

Odd Sock

I draw a lot of socks, but what strikes me about this particular sock is the speck of dust on its instep.

Socks for Happy People

My sister-in-law Carolee sent me a link to a London sock shop called Socks for Happy People. I'm not sure if they have any sort of measurement system to ensure only truly happy people purchase their Affirmation Socks, but if you encounter any issues, feel free to visit Socks for Sort of Happy People, or Socks for Not-Quite-Sure-About-Your-Mood People.

Learn about Socks for Happy People's buy one give one free initiative here. With each sock purchase, a pair of warm camel wool socks will be given to a child in Mongolia.

Socks Being Worn by Otherwise Apathetic Animals, Part 2: Octopus

Socks -- Not Just for Feet Anymore

The 2010 Gold Toe Awards have come and gone, but Orson S. continues to generate excitement for next year's competition. I have a feeling this little lad has some great ideas and tricks up his sleeve (probably socks) for 2011.

Soctagon

And the winners are...

I am happy to announce the 2010 Gold Toe Award recipients. 2010 has been a year of many firsts, the most important being the new list of winning categories for the Gold Toe Awards:

The 2010 Gold Toe Award Grand Champion goes to a charming little lad in London. Orson S. has raised the bar with his multi-media joke entry, dabbling in spoken sock and socktography.

- Orson S.

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Best Knock Knock Sock Sock Joke:

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Sockrates.
Sockrates who?
It's just Sockrates.

- Carolee S.
London
UK

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Best Sock Joke Americans Will Not Understand Without Explanation:

What did the lawyer say to her socks?
A: "I'll see you in court shoes!" (ba da bing! this joke is incredibly funny in England where such a thing as 'court shoes' exist and are smart shoes that a lady lawyer might wear)

- Liz D.
London
UK

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Most Timely Sock Joke:

What’s been particularly volatile this year?
A: The sock market.

- Matt S.
London
UK

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Best Short Essay about a Sock:

When I was growing up I only wanted one thing: a giant sock that I could wear. There were, I figured, lots of benefits to wearing just one giant sock. For one thing, it would be easy to get dressed: just jump into your sock, pull it up over your shoulders and, voila, time to go play. For my socksth, er, I mean sixth birthday, my parents got me that giant sock and was I ever a happy. I wore that sock every day and every night. Over the next several years I became a successful entrepreneur. I think my success is attributable to my wardrobe: I still wear a giant sock every day but now that I’m an adult I also have a giant shoe.

-Matt S.
London
UK

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Best Sailor Sock Joke to Tell to all Your Sailor Friends:

Where do sailors leave their boating socks?
A: In the sockyard.

- John S.
London
UK

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Best Sock Joke to Tell with a Sockney Accent:

What do you call a sock from the east end?
A: Sockney

- Montgomery S.
London
UK

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Best Cat-in-Sock-on-the-Web Photo

- Alex B.
Saint Louis, MO
USA

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Best Excuse for not Entering the Gold Toe Awards:

List of Excuses Why I Did Not Submit An Entry to the 2010 Gold Toe Awards:
Thought I had more time
Thought it had to be a picture
I don't have a camera
I forgot
I remembered, but then forgot again
I am watching the St. Louis Cardinals home opener
Now my dog needs to go out
I have no inspiration
I sprained my ankle
I miss Rick Ankiel
Lunchtime!
I am back, but uninspired
Socks are so last season
I really doubt I could beat a cute little baby
Well, I think I could beat a cute little baby but the judge is a little biased
Doubt the prize is that great
I never win anything anyway
I suck

- Amanda P.
Saint Louis, MO
USA

Thanks for the great response. Please stay tuned for the awards ceremonies.

2010 Gold Toe Award Entries

The long awaited 2010 Gold Toe Award entries are posted. I received wonderful submissions from all corners of the world. Well, two corners of the world--Saint Louis, MO, USA and London, UK--with an overwhelming response from folks in London. This confirms my theory that Londoners have a lot to say about foot coverings that reach a point between the ankle and the knee.

Thanks to everyone who contributed this year! You are all Gold Toe Award winners at heart, but the real life Gold Toe Award winners will be revealed later this week.

Category: Jokes

• What did the lawyer say to her socks?
  A: I'll see you in court shoes! (Ba da bing! This joke is incredibly funny in England where such a thing as 'court shoes' exist and are smart shoes that a lady lawyer might wear.)
• What do you call an eight-legged cat with a penchant for hosiery?
  A: A socktopus
• What did the rooster say when he woke up in the lingerie department?
  A: Sock-a-doodle-do!
  
  - Liz D.
  London
  UK
  

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• Where do sailors leave their boating socks?
  A: In the sockyard.
  
  - John S.
  London
  UK

• ---

  What do you call a sock from the east end?
  A: Sockney
  
  
• Have you heard the one about the gym sock?
  A: It stinks.
  
  - Montgomery S.
  London
  UK
  

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• Orson's sock joke (audio file below):

- Orson S.

London
UK

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• How many socks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  A: Socks-teen.
• What did one sock say to the other?
  A: Your momma’s so smelly her owner wears sandals.
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Sockrates.
  Sockrates who?
  It's just Sockrates.
  
  - Carolee S.
  London
  UK
  

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• What’s been particularly volatile this year?
  A: The sock market.
• What flies across the sky and is enclosed by a knitted shield?
  A: A shooting star in a sock.
  
  - Matt S.
  London
  UK
  

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Category: Short Essays, Dramas, Drama Quizzes, Musical Interpretations, & Who'd've thunk it?

• In what play is this excerpt found?
  Left sock: I’ve got King Henry’s foot covered.
  Right sock: You must be mistaken. I’ve got our dear king’s foot covered.
  Left sock: We’ve been over this a thousand times—
  Right sock: I cover his foot as a royal sock should.
  Left sock: True, and I’m covering his other foot. We’re a pair of socks.
  Right sock: I forgot!
  ANSWER: “Henry IV, Part Three” by William Socks-peare
  
  - Matt S.
  London
  UK
  

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• When I was growing up I only wanted one thing: a giant sock that I could wear. There were, I figured, lots of benefits to wearing just one giant sock. For one thing, it would be easy to get dressed: just jump into your sock, pull it up over your shoulders and, voila, time to go play. For my socksth, er, I mean sixth birthday, my parents got me that giant sock and was I ever a happy. I wore that sock every day and every night. Over the next several years I became a successful entrepreneur. I think my success is attributable to my wardrobe: I still wear a giant sock every day but now that I’m an adult I also have a giant shoe.
  

  -Matt S.
  London
  UK
  

  ---

• Songs that would have appeared on Highway 61 Revisited if Bob Dylan was really into socks:
  1. Like a Rolling Stone in a Sock
  2. Tombsock Blues
  3. It Takes a Lot to Laugh at a Sock, It Takes a Train to Cry over a Sock
  4. From a Sock 6
  5. Ballad of a Thin Man in Socks
  6. Queen Jane Appsocksimately
  7. Highway Soxty-one Revisited and Paved with Socks
  8. Just Sock Tom Thumb's Blues
  9. Desocklation Row
  10. (bonus track) Sock-Eyed Lady of the Sockland (recorded live at the Sockland Sock Festival, Sockland, North Sockota)
  
  - Matt S.
  London
  UK
  

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• From the “Who’d’ve thunk it” department: We sometimes say “That sucks!” to express a disappointing turn of events. The corresponding phrase to express a positive turn of events was originally “That socks!” . . . . Unfortunately, those fat cats in Washington rejected the sock-based phrase because it was deemed “too similar to the negative phrase.”
  
  -Matt S.
  London
  UK
  

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Category: Photos Combining Socks with Very Cute Things (Original photography or from the Internet)

- Orson S.
London
UK

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- Alex B.
Saint Louis, MO
USA

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Category: Excuses for Not Entering

• List of Excuses Why I Did Not Submit An Entry to the 2010 Gold Toe Awards:
  Thought I had more time
  Thought it had to be a picture
  I don't have a camera
  I forgot
  I remembered, but then forgot again
  I am watching the St. Louis Cardinals home opener
  Now my dog needs to go out
  I have no inspiration
  I sprained my ankle
  I miss Rick Ankiel
  Lunchtime!
  I am back, but uninspired
  Socks are so last season
  I really doubt I could beat a cute little baby
  Well, I think I could beat a cute little baby but the judge is a little biased
  Doubt the prize is that great
  I never win anything anyway
  I suck
  
  - Amanda P.
  Saint Louis, MO
  USA
  

Call for Entries: Second Annual Gold Toe Award

Submit any sort of sock-related item, or any sorted/unsorted socks as long as they're clean. Jokes, stories, drawings and photos are also welcome -- keep those clean as well. Read about the 2009 Gold Toe Award Winner for inspiration. Under normal circumstances, friends and family members of The Sock Artist would be ineligible for the 2010 Gold Toe Award. However, that would eliminate my entire readership so it's strictly open to friends, family, non-friends and non-family only. Official deadline is 12:00pm, April 10, 2010. Anticipating the massive amounts of entries I'll be receiving, the official winner of the 2010 Gold Toe Award will be announced at 12:01pm, April 10, 2010. Good luck!

2010 Gold Toe Awards
P.O. Box 21743
St. Louis, MO 63109
USA