Christmas Socks

I wanted to make a batch of Christmas socks last night, but I ran out of butter.

Thanks

In this painting "The First Thanksgiving" (1915), by American painter Jean Louis Gerome Ferris, Native Americans and blue-socked Pilgrims were thankful for a bountiful harvest. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for a bountiful family (including my awesome 2-week-old nephew), friends, food on my feet and socks on the table. I mean food on the table and socks on my feet. Happy Thanksgiving!

No Small Feet

Found Socks, Missing Person

This happens to me all the time: both of my socks wiggle off my feet and fall out of my shoes mid-stride. Lucky for me my dryer spits out extra socks to compensate, so it all evens out in the end.

If these are your socks, let me know as soon as possible. I can't tell you how many times I've accidentally stepped into socks while walking down the street.

The King of Pop & Cool Socks: 1958 - 2009

Observations

A sock I observed outside the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles. According to Wikipedia, the observatory is a popular attraction that features an extensive array of space-, science- and sock-displays.

The Independent Sock

A Sock's Interpretation of Lunch

A Sock's Interpretation of Turmoil

Things found inside socks besides feet

Seattle's Hat n' Boots n' Sock

While visiting my friend Stef in Seattle this past weekend, we took a trip to Georgetown where we found a tiny sock, a 40' wide brimmed one-size-fits-all-heads-at-one-time hat, and two size 328 wide cowboy boots. If you're missing any of these items, please contact me for more details. If you're missing anything else, contact Sticky Fingers. I mean Stef.

Let's Give a Big Hand To...

It was my pleasure to personally hand deliver the 2009 Gold Toe Award Certificate Prize Honor to Matt S. in London.
Gold Toe Award

Matt's reaction to winning the 2009 Gold Toe Award:

Since winning the Gold Toe Award, some people have asked me, "Has your life improved in a number of ways since winning the award?"

I answer that, yes, things have improved in about twelve ways.

Thank you for the honor and the subsequent dozen positive effects.

Inside a Sake Factory

Before


After

Socks Being Worn by Otherwise Apathetic Animals, Part 1: Rabbit

Mike Roberts' St. Louis Cardinals Weather Report

Always consult Mike Roberts before heading to a baseball game. It could prevent you from leaving the home opener in the sixth inning due to improperly dressed feet.

Special care should be taken when reading weather reports during White Sox and Red Sox visits. Thankfully, they're in the American League so the situation does not often arise.

Things to avoid stepping on or into while wearing socks

Cranky Crafting at the Cranky Yellow

Alex and I were on Cherokee St. when we noticed several strange textile sculptures strung in a storefront window. Above them, a sign read "The Astounding Cranky Yellow." We were drawn inside, I think, because we were both wearing textiles, and one of my shirt stripes was yellow.

The Cranky Yellow is an independent publishing house/gallery for art, music, film, literature and textiles (an all-around artist's co-operative). Among other odds and ends, they also sell vintage knitting patterns. The best of the bunch was a 1948 Beehive Hand Knits Socks for Men & Women. As I purchased the book, the uncranky guy working the front counter mentioned a grand re-opening back in February, but I was so excited about my sock book I couldn't listen to the details. I don't even knit.

Men's Classic Rib Toe
k 1, sl 1, k 1, p.s.s.o., knit across to within 3 sts from end of needle, then k 2 tog, k 1; on 2nd needle, k1, sl 1, k 1, p.s.s.o., knit to end of needle; on 3rd needle, knit to within last 3 sts, k2 tog, k1. 2nd rnd: Knit around. Repeat the last 2 rnds alternately until 24 sts remain on rnd. Weave sts together.

Huh? Well, once I find an English version of this pattern, you may soon be able to stop by the Cranky Yellow and purchase some of my very own Men's Classic Rib Sock Toe creations. Not the full sock, just the toe part. Or, Toezies, as I like to call them. I haven't read beyond that, but once I do I suspect you'll be able to find Healzies and Archzies in store sometime late fourth quarter. Just in time for stocking stuffers...filled with knitted coalzies.

Cranky Yellow
2847 Cherokee St.
St. Louis, MO 63118
314.773.4499

30 ways to say 양말

Print this list and keep it in your shoe for any upcoming trips to Uraguay or the Republic of Equatorial Guinea. Alternatively, you can point to your feet in any country. ¡Eso sí que es!

albanian: çorape
arabic:جوارب قصيرة
bulgarian: Чорапи
chinese: 袜子
croatian: čarape
czech: ponožky
danish: strømper
dutch: sokken
english: socks
finnish: sukat
french: chaussettes
german: socken
greek: κάλτσες
hebrew: גַרבַּיִם
hindi: मोज़े
hungarian: zokni
indonesian: kaus kaki
italian: calzini
japanese: 靴下
korean: 양말
lithuanian: Kojinės
norwegian: sokker
polish: skarpetki
portuguese: meias
russian: Носки
serbian: чарапе
spanish: calcetines
swedish: strumpor
thai: ถุงเท้า
turkish: çorap
vietnamese: bít tất

Streets to Set Foot

Sox St, West Columbia, Lexington, SC 29169, USA
Sox Ln, Perryville, Perry, MO 63775, USA
Sox Cir, Chesterfield, SC 29101, USA
Sox Dr, Sturgis, St Joseph, MI 49091, USA
Sock's Ln, North Brewham, Bruton, Somerset, UK
Sock Ln, Mudford, Yeovil, Somerset BA21, UK
Sock Hill Mudford, Yeovil, Somerset BA21, UK

Irish Every Day were Lucky Socks Day

How to start your very own blog about, say, socks.

There are a lot of really interesting blogs at your fingertips these days, but making your own blog stand apart from the crowd and its fingertips is easy. Simply pick a subject that isn't as exciting or thought provoking as things like sky-diving or science.

Become a master of the subject you choose. Experience it. Study it. Make soap carvings of it. Completely immerse yourself in your subject. I thought I was familiar with my subject, yet I wear socks Labor Day through Memorial Day and sometimes struggle to present new material to my reader. To compensate, I often wear two or three pairs of socks at a time, keeping copious notes of their characteristics. I also get misty-eyed, knowing I'll never know everything about socks. Just most things.

Who is your reader? Well, there are millions of internet users in the world. There are millions of blogs. Most of those blogs will be better than yours, so that leaves one reader for your blog. I'm the reader of my blog, and I'm glad I have this forum to say I have so much more to say about socks. Now decide who your reader should be, write, then pester the hell out of Gary.

The Touch, the Feel of Cotton Socks

Diorama Panorama

A fake ficus tree and a leather chair were nestled in the far left corner, next to two retro-model photobooths, evenly spaced along the back wall. I imagined walking into the photobooth storefront and taking a few pictures today, using my arms to spell S-O-C-K in each photo block, or showing only my feet. Afterwards, I'd take a rest in the chair and review my photos, reminiscing about a happier time in my life only moments earlier.

The door to 3123 Morganford Rd. was locked, so instead I did what anyone else would do in my situation. I took pictures of the photobooths.

I've used the old photobooth at the City Museum several times, and I've seen photobooths at the Mad Art Gallery on few occasions. Hoping to find more local booths, I stumbled across photobooth.net, which has compiled an extensive list of photobooth locations from around the world. Their visit through St. Louis was in 2005, so I decided to update the status of the booths. Unfortunately, the list has dwindled:

St. Louis
Lucky Strike, Hazelwood (closed)
City Museum, St. Louis
Galleria Movie Theater, St. Louis (waiting for update)
Mad Art Gallery, St. Louis (on occasion)
St. Louis Centre I, St. Louis (closed)
St. Louis Centre II, St. Louis (closed)

Besides the fun of cramming into a small booth with one or more loved ones or loved socks, is the joy of being instantly rewarded with photo prints. It's like getting chips and salsa at a Mexican restaurant. Both should arrive within 3-4 minutes, or something's broken.


*Photo Location: Photobooth|Stl - Photobooth Rental Company. Their website lists them at 4406 Arsenal St., but the storefront shown is at 3123 Morganford Rd.

Extreme Ironing (Not to be confused with the sport of Extreme Ironing)

According to a Rowenta Inc. survey, 5% of Americans iron their socks. National averages for other "extreme" items include:

49% iron jeans (High score: Dallas, 60%)
37% iron t-shirts (High score: Miami, 46%)
31% iron curtains (High score: Boston/Pittsburgh, 45%)
23% iron pillow cases (High score: Dallas, 32%)
15% iron pajamas (High score: Pittsburgh, 22%)
15% iron sheets (High score: New York, 21%)
10% iron boxer shorts (High score: Miami, 21%)
1-4% accidentally iron parts of their hands**

*The information above was obtained from the Senior Journal. It is unclear what percentage of Americans iron their journals.

**This statistic was not found in the Senior Journal.

Farewell, Socks Clinton (1989-2009)

Bye bye, kitty. You're a true democat.

CNN article

The Open Socks Collection by Miranda

An answer to Jane Seymour's Open Hearts Collection for Kay Jewelers.

My mother used to say, “Always keep one hole in your sock. It’s the only way to get your foot in.” That’s my inspiration behind my Open Socks Collection at the Sock Drawer Blog. I worked with myself, because as the number one sock drawing blog in America, I’ve drawn more socks together than, well, just about anyone. My wish is that my Open Socks design becomes a universal symbol of hope and feet--because if your sock is open, your foot will always find its way in.

Places we look for socks, but seldom find socks.

1. Cat hands
2. Down a well
3. Radio
4. Under or in carpet
5. Inaugural ball cheese trays
6. Pockets
7. What Cheer, Iowa
8. Glove box
9. Telephone wires
10. Library card catalog -- including letters A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,T,U,V,W,X,Y, and Z
11. Fire
12. Michael Phelps

And the Winner Is...

After carefully reviewing all submissions, I'd like to congratulate Matt S. of London for winning the 2009 Gold Toe Award.

The winning entry:
What's between a sock and a hard place?
The toe of a shoe . . . at the instant its owner kicks a rock.
- Matt S.

Other noteworthy entries:
According to poker rules, what beats a pair of socks?
Two pairs.
- Matt S.

Who is considered the greatest writer for the sock-puppet stage?
William Socks-peare.
- Matt S.

Other than soccer, what's a sock's favorite sport?
Football.
- Matt S.

Do socks like scandals?
As long as it's the 1918 Black Sox scandal. Otherwise they like to play fair.
No, I said, "Do socks like sandals?"
As long as they're the 1918 Black Sox-model sandal. Otherwise they
dislike being worn with sandals.
- Matt S.

Why don't squirrels wear socks?
They don't know any better.
- Matt S.

From the "If we can put a man on the moon . . ." department: If we can
make a salad spinner, why can't we make a sock spinner?
- Matt S.

Derek & Toby
- Erica W. (California)


Stay tuned for the 2010 Gold Toe Awards.

Feel my Sock

"Feel my sock," said my sister. I reached out my index finger as Molly held a pair of clean, cuffed gym socks for me to rub. They were nice. "Now try these," Molly continued as she pulled another pair from behind her back. I was not convinced at first, but soon the comparison made me realize the second pair felt more like course 60-grit sandpaper and the first pair just felt like soft sand. Molly threw both pairs onto her pile of socks on the rocking chair, which is now dubbed Sock Mountain. Our sister-in-law gave Molly the socks as a gift, so maybe she'll get to take Molly's sock test sometime (and tell Molly where she bought them). I just hope Molly doesn't get rid of her old socks. I bet they'd come in handy when building a pinewood derby car or picnic table.

Molly and I both visited my parents this weekend. Mom and Dad's farm is about 75 miles south of St. Louis, which makes for a perfect weekend retreat. Their house rests in the middle of a meadow of tall grass, and is heavily guarded by cows. The quietness and lack of connectivity (my cell phone doesn't work, and there isn't high-speed internet) assures for long days of eating Mom's wonderful cooking (today she made a fritatta, wild boar, and oatmeal cookies!!!), lounging, eating, eating, and chatting about important things like Molly's gym socks.

Bananacontamination

Some kids get a new lunch box every year. My mom didn't see the need for that (and I don't think overconsumption was even a word back then). She either painted the outside of our old boxes, or passed my brother's down to me, and mine down to my younger sister. One thing all of our lunch boxes had in common was the smell of bananas. It only took one banana, one day of bouncing around on metal surfaces and plastic thermoses before the smell was merged--forever. From that point on, every lunch was some sort of banana infusion: peanut butter and banana, pizza and banana, turkey and banana, bologna sandwich and actual banana and banana.

For years I've have a hard time putting bananas in any transporting unit without fear of bananacontamination. But today I found a banana holder that will not only keep the banana smells from bouncing around my purse or backpack, but also will keep it cozy and safe. Look out St. Louis, there's a new banana in tow.

Banana Holder

Different Perspectives

The Banana Pull

A friend introduced me to this banana-saving method. Although I haven't had a chance to try it on bananas, I have arranged everything in my office so that all its contents touch. Using the same logic, my work day should be much shorter.

Evolution: From Fish to Foot...and Hand

New Trends: A Gripping Conversation with Amanda

Amanda: What do you want to know?
Miranda: You were going to tell me something about grip socks.
Amanda: How much longer is this going to take?
Miranda: What are they called?
Amanda: I don't know. I just know they have like rubber grippers on the bottoms. So the main point of these socks is that they are soft, warm, and if you buy them at Body Works they have aloe in them.
Miranda: A bonus bottle of aloe, or is the aloe in them?
Amanda: In them.
Miranda: How does that work?
Amanda: I don't know. It probably doesn't, but Target doesn't offer that. I just know the grips don't slide when you walk.

How to Polish Shoes with a Banana

Clean Green:How To Polish Shoes With A Banana

This video is a more practical follow-up to last year's How to Eat Bananas with Your Feet. I recommend this to anyone who likes bananas and has a bunch of scuffed-up shoes. Just peel, eat the fruit, remove stringy pieces from the peel, rub peel onto shoes, and buff with a towel. The natural oils and potassium (also found in other forms of shoe polish) work whether or not your shoes are yellow, black, brown or any other overripe colors. You'll have the best looking and best tasting shoes in town.

Banana Shoe Shine
Shoe Polish Facts
Banana: The Fate of the Fruit that Changed the World

MYTHBUSTERS: Send them Your Socks!

You know the routine: put two socks in the wash, pull one sock out. Put one sock in, pull three out. No, how does it work? There have been many debates about the infamous missing sock throughout the years, and now the Mythbusters are putting the lost-sock myth to the test.

The Mythbusters team is asking fans to send in pairs of socks to help in testing the myth. You can also send a story about the socks, a story about your sock-sucking washing machine, or any other sock-related story. Keep in mind, just like submitting your socks to your washing machine, these will not be returned, so don't send anything precious.

Deadline is February 18, just 6 days after the 2009 Gold Toe Award, so get busy! For more Mythbusters information, check out these links:
Details: http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/mythbusters/mailbag/socks.html
Video: http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/mythbusters-send-us-your-socks.html

Sock or Banana?

The Basics

Socks + Monkeys = Sock Monkeys

Meet Derek and Toby. Derek is a tour guide at the Missouri Botanical Garden. His favorite flower is the Echinacea purpurea because it reminds him of Toby's head. Toby is a designer of miniature furniture. He likes his job, but just a little.

My good friend Erica made these cute as a button monkeys for me last year. Their cold weather gear--gloves, shoes, scarves, hats--inspired my own wardrobe updates, which I'll debut soon. They also taught me a thing or two about the importance of button placement. Thanks for the monkeys, Erica. They're always good for a smile.

Call for Entries: 2009 Gold Toe Award

As long as there have been starts, stops and high-fives, there have been exciting events and competitions, with the exception of dueling pianos. When I was a kid I concocted several competition ideas. Sure, I started out like every other kid, with activities like pickle-eating and staring contests. Looking back, however, I don't think the allure was in the actual competitions, but an eight year-old's ability to imagine things on a grand scale and stage: bike races, kick-ball tournaments, sock races, swinging festivals, wagon contests (in my Little House days), and domino contests. You name it. I made tickets, designed uniforms (lots of layering), recruited help from kids at school, scouted locations, even guaranteed motors to each participant of the 1983 backyard box-car race since my dad worked at Ford. The only thing I didn't do was follow through with most of the competitions, but damn, we looked good. Today I'm pleased to announce the first competition I've thought about organizing and announcing since 1987.

Official 2009 Gold Toe Award Rules:
Submit any sort of sock-related item, or any sorted/unsorted socks as long as they're clean. Jokes, stories, drawings and photos are also welcome -- keep those clean as well. Under normal circumstances, friends and family members of The Sock Artist would be ineligible for the 2009 Gold Toe Award. However, that would eliminate my entire readership so it's strictly open to friends, family, non-friends and non-family only. Official deadline is 12:00pm, February 12, 2009. Anticipating the massive amounts of entries I'll be receiving, the official winner of the 2009 Gold Toe Award will be announced at 12:01pm, February 12, 2009. Good luck!

2009 Gold Toe Awards
P.O. Box 21743
St. Louis, MO 63109
USA

or submit email entries here

Green Sneakers on a Green Sock Blog?

While this blog is primarily dedicated to socks, bananas, yellow or fuzzy things, I will occasionally examine things like shoes--or as I like to call them--sock covers. Leg warmers, the bottom parts of pants which touch socks, fake horses, and mandolins are also topics of interest. Oddly enough, many of these interests were found on one album cover at the Lawrence Record Shop in downtown Nashville, TN over the weekend.

Here are a few things about the cover that caught my eye:

10.Her first name is Robin.
9. Her last name is Flower.
8. The title is Green Sneakers.
7. There are 12 green sneakers on the cover.
6. There are rainbow socks in the upper left.
5. It's in the Square Dancing section.
4. I think they're riding on a fake horse.
3. There are leg warmers in the bottom right (I had to mention them).
2. It's only $8.99, but I didn't buy it.
1. There's a stampede of fake horse-riding, green-shoed teenagers heading towards her face yet she manages to pick that mandolin with a smile. Some people are into that sort of thing.